Church Bloopers---Part Two

Here is a continuation of "bloopers" that I understand actually appeared in church bulletins around the country:

>> IRVING BENSON AND JESSIE CARTER WERE MARRIED ON OCTOBER 24 IN THE CHURCH. SO ENDS A FRIENDSHIP THAT BEGAN IN THEIR SCHOOLDAYS.

>> SCOUTS ARE SAVING ALUMINUM CANS , BOTTLES, AND OTHER ITEMS TO BE RECYCLED. PROCEEDS WILL BE USED TO CRIPPLE CHILDREN.

>> PLEASE PLACE YOUR DONATION IN THE ENVELOPE ALONG WITH THE DECEASED PERSON YOU WANT REMEMBERED.

>> POTLUCK SUPPER SUNDAY AT 5:30 P.M. PRAYER AND MEDICATION TO FOLLOW.

>> THE LADIES OF THE CHURCH HAVE CAST OFF CLOTHING OF EVERY KIND. THEY MAY BE SEEN IN THE BASEMENT ON FRIDAY AFTERNOON.

>> THIS EVENING AT 7 PM THERE WILL BE A HYMN SINGING IN THE PARK ACROSS FROM THE CHURCH. BRING A BLANKET AND COME PREPARED TO SIN.

>> LADIES BIBLE STUDY WILL BE HELD THURSDAY MORNING AT 10 AM. ALL LADIES ARE INVITED TO LUNCH IN THE FELLOWSHIP HALL AFTER THE BS IS DONE.

>> THE PASTOR OF THE CONGREGATION WOULD APPRECIATE IT IF THE LADIES OF THE CONGREGATION WOULD LEND HIM THEIR ELECTRIC GIRDLES FOR THE PANCAKE BREAKFAST NEXT SUNDAY.

>> LOW SELF ESTEEM SUPPORT GROUP WILL MEET THURSDAY AT 7P.M. PLEASE USE THE BACK DOOR.

>> THE EIGHTH GRADERS WILL BE PRESENTING SHAKESPEARE'S HAMLET IN THE CHURCH BASEMENT FRIDAY AT 7 PM. THE CONGREGATION IS INVITED TO ATTEND THIS TRAGEDY.

>> WEIGHT WATCHERS WILL MEET AT 7PM AT THE FIRST PRESBYTERIAN CHURCH. PLEASE USE LARGE DOUBLE DOORS AT THE SIDE ENTRANCE.

>> THE ASSOCIATE MINISTER UNVEILED THE CHURCH'S NEW CAMPAIGN SLOGAN LAST SUNDAY; I UPPED MY PLEDGE--UP YOURS.